So.
Tsh Oxenreider (from The Art of Simple) has just come out with a new book (Notes from a Blue Bike
), and I’m participating in the blog tour associated with the book. I haven’t received my copy yet, but hopefully I will soon!
<obsessively checks mailbox>
Notes from a Blue Bike is about living intentionally and at a slower pace, and so for this blog tour, all of us are writing about what it looks like for us to live slower, simpler, or with more intention.
I think I could use some help in this area, so I’m really excited to get my book and dig into it.
Since I sometimes feel like my life is moving by a little bit too fast, at first, I wasn’t sure what I would write about for this tour. But as I thought about it more, I realized that we do have some slow aspects to our lives that I kind of take for granted.
Probably the best slow thing we do (and the one we are most consistent with) is our family dinner.
Almost without fail, we eat six dinners out of seven together every week (and the one we miss is just because Mr. FG and I have a date night.)
Our consistency with this is partly due to Mr. FG’s work schedules, which always seem to be a little bit abnormal, and which make it hard to participate in evening activities. And it’s also partly due to our commitment to keep our lives and our children’s lives a bit on the unscheduled end of things.
There are so many great extra-curricular activities our kids could be involved in, but we feel strongly that family time and unscheduled free time need to be a priority and we also would prefer that our kids do fewer things well than do many things passably.
So for now, music lessons and martial arts are the two extra-curriculars that they participate in and that’s it.
Occasionally, I wonder if that’s enough because it seems like everyone else is involved in eleventy-billion activities. And I used to sometimes feel bad that we didn’t have enough money to put our kids into all those activities.
But at the end of the day, I’m still pretty darn positive that the meals we share and the quiet(-ish!) weekends and the unstructured playtime are going to have a seriously positive impact on our kids, and those things can be had on a budget of nearly any size.
(Just in case disclaimer: I’m not trying to tell anyone else that they should operate just like we do. I’m just saying that this is what works for me and my family. And also that I think it’s totally ok to limit outside activities and that it’s pretty awesome to eat dinner together regularly.)
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So, what about you? Are there any helpful ways that you keep your life from moving at a lightning pace?
robin
Friday 7th of March 2014
You are doing very well! My children are grown with families of their own now, but when they were younger, my husband and I limited their evening and weekend activities too. A non hectic life that included family time, proper physical and mental rest, and eating together were important, as was our religious life. They were allowed one school sport or academic activity at a time that didn't interfere with religious education classes on Wednesday nights and attending mass on the weekend or dinners together most nights of the week. My children did not grow up feeling they "missed" anything and understand the importance of maintaining loving relationships over being on the go all the time. But on the other hand, I come from a family of 5, with a younger brother who had a learning disability and was very restless all the time. He constantly moved from one activity to another. My parents kept him heavily involved in sports activities all year because that is what kept him out of trouble and boosted his confidence in himself. He was the only child in our family who participated in sports. It was a heavy financial burden for my parents, but money well spent. He is a successful, self-employed businessman and the whole family still enjoys and laughs at the things he does in his life to satisfy his restlessness.
Vicki
Wednesday 12th of February 2014
I live with my daughter and two grandchildren. My granddaughter is in Girl Scouts which meet twice a month. She participates in soccer and basketball in the fall and winter. she goes to 3 to 4 programs at the library every month. She is also in the confirmation class at church every week. My grandson does football, basketball, and baseball. He also goes to 3 or 4 programs at the library each month. We have meals as a family almost every evening even if it isn't at the same time each night. This year it is a little more busy but next year when the kids are both going to the same programs again it slows down. We also do volunteer work and other activities as a family. We schedule family game nights and family movie nights. If something is important you will find a way to do it no matter how busy you are. It may not work for everyone but it works for us.
Madeline
Tuesday 11th of February 2014
I grew up in the '60's. I enjoyed a LOT of unscheduled time.My parents were not up my butt every minute.I rode my bike after school into the woods near my house,yes,sometimes I fell and skinned a knee, fell out of a tree even! And lived to tell the tale!
I took piano lessons one day a week at 7 A.M. before classes, on my school premises.I also LOVED singing in GLEE CLUB but that happened at lunch time.
When I had my own son, I raised him with a lot of freedom and unscheduled time too.As a result, he taught himself to take apart and put together computer systems,taught himself computer languages, and read a lot of books.He enjoyed chess club and tennis, one after school event twice a week.
Kids need love, trust, and some TIME TO THEMSELVES!!! HOW ELSE will they EVER find out WHO THEY ARE!!?? I am appalled at the crazy pace parents keep their families moving at these days.. looks exhausting to me!!
Chill folks!! It's all okay!
Marianne
Friday 7th of February 2014
I come from a large family, we did not have any extra-curricular activities. My brothers played in various bands just with friends. My kids are adults and I really miss family meals times. Makes me sad I miss it so much. My husband thinks dinner time is sitting in the living room watching tv. He has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and struggles with eating.
Liz @ Economies of Kale
Thursday 6th of February 2014
When I was young, my family didn't do a lot of extra-curricular activities, but as I got into high school I started doing more and more after school activities (band, orchestra, musicals, soccer etc).
It wasn't that overwhelming, mainly because I chose to do them (and was old enough to make those choices), they were at school so didn't involve extra driving around, and they were always over by 5:30, so I was usually home by 6. Which meant we still had family dinners, and I had time for homework.
I definitely agree about younger kids being over-scheduled though. We did swimming lessons and then spent the rest of the time playing at home :)