A reader wrote to me with the following question, and I’d like to throw it out there for you all to answer!
You’ve talked about various things that influence how a person spends or saves and I wonder. Have you ever discussed the issue of how we were raised, how we saw our parents spend or save, influenced us as we grew up and as adults?
I would be very interested from your perspective of your parents and also to hear how your children view spending, etc.
Also, from you knowledge, does coming from a very financially challenged family inspire saving…or spending. Any thoughts on that?
my people and me in 2010
I’d say that my financial habits are fairly similar to those of my parents, except that I am probably slightly more obsessed with being frugal than they are. Not that my parents are profligate spenders by any stretch of the imagination! I’m just more “into” being frugal than most people are.
I mean, I’ve been writing about frugality for ten years. It’s obviously kind of a thing for me. 😉
My own children aren’t adults yet, so it’s a little hard to tell exactly what their financial habits will be.
my crew in 2008
Still, it’s easy to see that some of my children are natural-born savers, and others are a little more spendy.
However, even the spendiest of my children does not spend everything they earn, and all of my kids have an eye to saving for college and for a car of their own one day.
My kiddos now. And me not doing very well at being photographed.
Lisey, who is 17, has even started her own retirement account through her employer, all of her own accord!
I’m very encouraged to see that when my kids do spend their own money, they’re motivated to look for deals, use coupons, shop second-hand, and so on. They’re being smart shoppers, which makes this frugal mama’s heart happy.
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Torrie
Friday 22nd of June 2018
Funny that I saw you posting about this as I literally JUST wrote a blog post the other week about my own personal history with money, and how it shaped how I am now with money! I definitely came from a house where frugality was not an option (though eventually, once my mom remarried, she still continued frugal habits as a choice, though not as strictly). I am definitely naturally frugal as a result of my upbringing, but I could see why some people who grew up in a household without much would swing the other way and be very spendy. It probably comes down to how you feel about being frugal---if it's this huge sacrifice, then you're more likely to change those habits down the road. If you're frugal in order to meet certain financial goals, it's a bit easier to stick with.
Chris
Friday 22nd of June 2018
Ahh...interesting topic!
My mom's family was not poor, exactly. Both of them worked, but neither in high-paying fields. They were well-respected but definitely blue-collar. Growing up through the Depression had an impact, my grandma saved EVERYTHING, her cabinets were a riot, and they were both savers. My grandpa had as a dream his whole life to own a farm and when they retired they bought one and he grew beans and corn and had an orchard. They were content and that was my strongest impression of how they felt about money.
My other grandma seemed to have not saved any money, my dad supported her, and his stories of his unstable childhood have always stuck with me.
When I was little my parents were struggling. The 70's were hard on small business owners and it wasn't until the early-mid 80's that things improved dramatically. By the early 90's they were sending us to private school and we were taking nicer vacations. The difference was a shock, I never quite believed we now had money. My parents were definitely savers in the bad times but spenders in the good times, a pattern I tend to repeat.
My husband's parents came from truly poor families and are the most frugal people I have ever met. Rolling in cash, won't spend it. Even when they really, really should.
My husband isn't particularly interested in material things, brands and looking impressive to others means nothing to him, but he has certain things he thinks we should save and spend a ton on. Good speakers and big tvs, for one. Lol! I seem to have feast or famine mindset. I can easily scrimp and save and spend nothing...or we have a great year and I finally buy new shoes and clothes (usually used, but I often don't buy ANY clothes in a year) and then house stuff and then more activities for the kids and it gets crazy and I have gone months overspending. I'm working on it.
I do save, though. We have been investing since we were in college. I just tend to spend anything I haven't invested or put into a named savings account. Consequently, we have 10? 11? named savings accounts and large automatic deposits set up for each one. No matter what happens, we can always pay taxes, insurances, etc.!
Amy
Friday 22nd of June 2018
My dad was a Vietnam Vet who struggled with PTSD, in a time where it was not recognized or understood. He struggled to hold a job. I don't remember going without so my parents made it work but I understood things were tight financially. I can always remember the joy of seeing my dad's lunchbox coming out of storage to sit on it's place on the kitchen counter... dad found another job!
Lisa M.
Friday 22nd of June 2018
Like many other readers, my parents were also raised during the Depression. My father grew up in poverty and became the ultimate financial frugalist, money expert and notably wealthy. My mother's family had more income growing up and although my mother was frugal, she was able to spend more easily than my father.
My sister and I were raised in the same household with the same parents, yet I became frugal and my sister is the spender. The answer to determinant of financial outlook would seem to be multi-causal: environment, parenting/modeling, disposition/personality, genetics.
lisa
Thursday 21st of June 2018
You have a beautiful family! Thanks for sharing the lovely photos!
My parents were born in 1928 and 1930. Both were farmers but one was well off. The other was poor. They paid cash for everything. They saved money but once it had accumulated, it was spent (usually on a new vehicle). They never spoke about money. Dad fixed everything he could and held a job. Mom worked 2 jobs and made the most money.
I was a spendy 20-something and paid cash for everything. I had a good job and saved for marriage. Currently, I'm the same- pay my bills and save a little. Invest a little.
The only time we divulged our financial situation with the kids was when we had lost jobs and were quite poor. We had to be extremely choosey on how we spent our money and what our priorities were.. The oldest took it well. The youngest was upset.
The oldest is 20-something and likes to shop but saves for car insurance and other things. The youngest is a miser and attending college.