“How might I use one of my strengths right now?”

In one of my classes this semester, we have a unit on wellness, which includes a section on stress management.

Apparently, nursing is a stressful career. WHO KNEW???

Anyway, a line in one of the recommended articles jumped out at me because I thought, “Ohh, this could be a useful thought tool for financially stressful situations!”

Here’s the quote (from this article):

Practice mindfulness: Thanks to the last two decades of research on mindfulness, there is now an impressive amount of research showing mindfulness approaches help with stress management, in many ways.

Strength tip: Try “the mindful pause” which is a simple, 2-step approach in which you pause before or during a stressor and attentively breathe for 15 seconds, followed by one question for yourself — how might I use one of my strengths right now? Take positive action with any character strength that pops up.

That question: “How might I use one of my strengths right now?” is what I really liked.

Why? Two reasons:

1. It’s personalized

Since we all have different strengths, the way one person will handle a problem is not necessarily the way that you will handle it.

So, I like this question because it will give you such a personalized way to handle a challenge.

2. It puts the focus on what you CAN do

As I’ve typed here many times before, when I’m in a hard spot, I find it to be very helpful to always ask, “Well, what CAN I do?”

I can’t always fix or change a situation entirely, but there usually is something I can do.

And the question, “How might I use one of my character strengths right now?” is most certainly one that puts you in the driver’s seat, which is much nicer than feeling helpless. Feeling helpless is stressful!

What could this look like?

Examples always help me, so let’s try a few.

Suppose something in your house breaks (an appliance, a light fixture, whatever), and you ask yourself, “How might I use one of my strengths right now?”

If your strength is repairing, you could save money by fixing the item yourself.

If your strength is finding deals by shopping used, you could snag a free/cheap replacement secondhand.

If your strength is side-hustling, you could come up with the funds to hire out a repair by doing an extra little side gig.

Suppose grocery prices are rising…

(This is not hypothetical. Ahahaha.)

We most certainly cannot control grocery prices, but we can use our strengths to minimize the impact on our budgets.

If your strengths are in the kitchen, you could learn how to make more things from scratch, or you could use your cooking skills to avoid food waste.

If you’re good at growing food, you could garden.

If you’re good at finding deals, you could shop loss-leaders, buy markdowns, and use grocery store apps.

If you’re creative, you could come up with cheaper substitutions for ingredients that are especially expensive (egg substitutes are a very good idea right now!)

Suppose that you hit a divorce mid-life…

(Ok, this also is not hypothetical, at least for me.)

When I began my separation, there was a lot that I could not control; for instance, I could not make the divorce go faster than it did. And I could not stay in the marital home.

But I found it helpful to focus on what was in my sphere of control, so here’s how I ended up using some of my particular strengths to navigate the challenge.

I’m good at finding used things, so I furnished my house with mostly secondhand items….furniture, silverware, plates, cups, lamps, rugs, and more.

I’m good at fixing things up, so I rescued a lot of shabby items and made them serviceable again.

I’m skilled at appreciating the good things around me, so I found lots of things to be thankful for, even while navigating a challenging divorce.

I’m good at tedious applications (lots of rebate application practice in my history!) and I also find writing to be enjoyable, so I wrote scholarship essays and waded through endless documentation so that I could get scholarships and afford my schooling.

Another thing: I have no idea what type of strength this is, but as I mentioned recently, when I ran out of money to pay attorney fees, I found several 0% credit card offers to get me through until my divorce settlement.

___________________

I think I have used this helpful question without really knowing it. But now that it’s on my conscious radar, I definitely am going to pull it out when I am feeling stressed.

I bet that lots of you have used this question too, even if subconsciously, when facing a challenge. So:

Tell us about a time you used one of your strengths to navigate a challenging situation!

(And it’s ok if it’s not a specifically financial situation.)