How to add more fun into your daily life (on a budget, of course)

A reader recently messaged me this question:

“Can you do a post about adding more fun to our daily lives? Lately, I feel like all I do is grind between work and chores and playing tennis and going out to dinner with friends. Too much sameness and too much stress.”

(there are more details in the message, like that this reader is helping with aging parents on both sides of the family, but this is the gist of her question.)

I think this is a really great topic to consider! I have some ideas about cheap fun to add, and also a few mindset ideas that might help.

Let’s start with the mindset stuff first, because if you change up your thinking a bit, the practical ideas may have more of an impact.

1. Find the already-existing fun in your life

I am obviously not privvy to your daily schedule, but I do know from your message that you go out to dinner with friends and you play tennis.

Those things might feel a bit repetitive (so maybe you do need to add novelty into your life), but still, I think you could mentally recategorize those things as fun.

They’re both optional activities, which means that on some level, you are choosing those things because you want to.

So, if something is a leisure activity, make sure your brain is putting that thing in the “fun” category and not the “work” category!

2. Consider that your brain might be lying to you

Sometimes, we can develop something analogous to olfactory fatigue and smells…we can’t see the fun in our lives because we take for granted the fun and wonderful moments in our everyday lives.

So, if I were you, I’d try to go on a fun-finding mission in your regular ol’ life for a week. Your brain is stuck on, “All I do is grind.” but that is just a thought and it might not actually be true!

Do do some observation work and see if your brain is lying to you or not.

(Sometimes my brain tells me stories that are not true, and yours is likely capable of doing the same thing. 😉 )

Also, I am not a therapist, but I wonder if there is a part of your brain that is feeling unrecognized for all the hard work you are doing, and that’s why it’s sending you this, “All I do is grind.” message.

So, you could give yourself a little pat on the back in recognition of the reality of all your are juggling, and maybe that part of your brain will settle down a bit and have more space to recognize the non-work parts of your life. 

3. Remember that small things count as fun and leisure

Did you get to have a quiet cup of coffee while chatting with your spouse?

Did your cat snuggle up with you for five minutes?

Did you get to talk to your child on the phone for a bit after your work day?

Did you look up and notice a beautiful sky?

Did you eat your lunch outside on a gorgeous day?

Those types of things are not equivalent to a tropical vacation, of course, but they are enjoyable (and moreso if you make a point of savoring them!)

Also, they are evidence you can present to your brain to say, “Ok, Brain! We are working hard, but the “all I do is grind” story is not entirely true.”

4. Find out if you are “wasting” your fun time

I know this is a rather hackneyed point, and maybe it’s not even applicable to you. But just in case: look at the screen time app on your phone and see how many hours per day you are spending on social media or other optional apps.

Your brain may be saying, “All I do is grind”, but your screen time app may tell a different story.

If your phone says you spent even 1.5 hours on social media every day, that means you probably do have some leisure time available to you, and you might feel better if you spent that time in other ways.

For many people, things like social media, news apps, game apps, and TV are not as refreshing and restful as a sunset walk or a coffee with a friend, so see if you can drop some not-so-fulfilling leisure activites for some more-fulfilling ones.

(I understand, dear reader, that your mileage here may vary. Phones are not all bad, social media is not all bad, and if this tip doesn’t apply to you, well, chew up the meat and spit out the bones. 😉 )

5. Pay attention and be present

If you are going through life on auto-pilot, not really paying attention, then you are not gonna extract the full amount of fun from life, no matter how many new activities you plan.

I know I have heard therapists say that being “in the moment” and fully present for your experiences are skills that can be honed and practiced.

If your “enjoying the moment” muscles are a little weak, here are a few ideas to try.

• at the end of the day, share a good moment from that day with a friend/spouse/child, or write it in a journal. This habit will make you notice the bits of fun you had that day, and it also might make you hunt for fun the next day in preparation for the evening sharing!

• take more pictures (sunrise, sunset, your cute pet, a delicious meal, a colorful leaf). Stopping to take a picture makes you slow down and notice, and as an additional benefit, you have a camera roll of evidence that your life has good things in it.

• close your eyes. Maybe this sounds a little crazy, but I find that closing my eyes helps me appreciate the feeling of a cool breeze, the sound of the orchestra, the taste of a delicious chocolate, or the feeling of a cool shower. On my winter walks, sometimes I stop in a sunny spot, face the sun, and close my eyes for a few minutes, just basking in the warm rays. Closing my eyes usually makes me breathe more slowly too.

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Ok! So, on to some practical fun ideas.

I know you are overwhelmed with a job and the care of aging parents, which means time and money are both in short supply.

So all of these ideas are gonna be small and inexpensive.

1. Think “new and novel”

It sounds like you are feeling stuck in a rut, so I’d suggest trying to think of small things you could switch up.

Our lives feel fuller and richer when we do things that are out of the ordinary (it’s one reason times of travel stick in our memories!), and even small bits of novelty can help us feel less stuck.

A few random ideas, largely based on what helps me: 😉

• buy a new flavor of coffee/syrup/creamer for your at-home coffee
• take a scenic route home from the gym or work or the grocery store
• try a new walking trail
• try a new park

• do something at a different time of day than usual (i.e. play tennis in the evening instead of in the morning)
• pick out a new treat to try at the grocery store (almost nothing there is going to decimate your budget!)
• get a new library book
• buy a little travel size of a new perfume scent
• find some new music to listen to on Spotify
• thrift a new coffee cup (always in large supply at thrift stores!!)
• go buy a single donut one afternoon

2. Try pit stops of fun

Since you don’t have oodles of free time right now, think about some ways you could make a quick pit stop for fun.

For example, the other day I was driving home from my second 12-hour shift, which means I had had little time to do anything other than eat, sleep, and work for those two days.

(A 12-hour shift is actually at least 12.5-13 hours because of the lunch break or staying over to finish up tasks, and then if you add in 8 hours for sleeping, that leaves you with about three hours to commute, shower, prep food, eat, clean up, and so on.)

But on my way home, I stopped in at a local park just before they closed and swapped my work shoes for flip-flops. I sat on a picnic table by the water in my scrubs, stretched my toes out, and looked at the lovely water scene for about ten minutes.

That cost me almost nothing in terms of time and money, but it made my day feel like more than just working!

I don’t know what’s in your area, but consider what fun is available if you try a pit stop vs. a whole outing.

Could you find a few minutes to:

• browse in an antique store
• wander a local art display
• stop in at a park (take your morning coffee there before work, maybe!)
• purposely watch a sunrise or sunset (sunrises will be more attainable soon, since the summer solstics has passed)

3. Occasionally, let the chores go and choose fun

Obviously, there are some things you can’t just skip (you need to feed your pets, for example).

But sometimes, you just have to make the decision to stop with the chores and go have fun anyway. Some chores do not take more time if you put them off for a week*, so skip those and use the time to purposely do something fun.

(*Scrubbing your bath tub doesn’t take twice as long if you skip a week, and neither does vacuuming. Laundry, on the other hand…)

Relatedly, it is easier to stay home and not go do the effortful fun thing.

Sometimes, I am tempted to stay home instead of going to my free symphony concerts, for example.

But every time I put down the work and go, I am happy that I did. I know those concerts made my last semester feel like more than just work, work, work. 🙂

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Readers, what advice would you add to mine? How do you add fun and novelty into your life on a budget?