This past weekend, WilliamB sent me a Washington Post article about a TikTok trend called “loud budgeting“.
(Here’s another article about loud budgeting, not behind a paywall.)
Basically, people are doing away with any shame related to their penny-pinching, and they’re talking publicly about their money-saving efforts.
So basically they’re doing what I have been doing here since 2008. 😉
And what Amy Dacyzyn did in her Tightwad Gazette days.
(though I must say, Amy’s openness is more impressive than mine because frugality was decidedly uncool back then!)
I have rarely felt ashamed of my frugality
I don’t know exactly why this is, but I have never understood people’s hesitance to discuss money and frugality.
I mean, I do understand that people have their reasons, but to me, the topic of frugality doesn’t feel even faintly embarrassing. It’s not like I’ve had to overcome any level of reticence; discussing it seems nearly as unbothersome as discussing the weather.
In years past, I have occasionally felt embarrassed or frustrated about a lack of income, but those feelings never extended to my frugal practices themselves.
Being resourceful is not embarrassing
When I think of frugality, what comes to mind is this: making a beautiful life on less.
As I wrote when I interviewed myself, I am not here for a life of deprivation in the name of frugality. My goal is always, always, to simply find less expensive ways to live a lovely life.
So, when I redo a piece of worn-out furniture I don’t feel embarrassed. I feel tickled with myself, and I want to show everyone who will look at it.
(This tendency does explain why I ended up as a frugality blogger. Haha.)
If someone visits my house and compliments a lamp, I will 100% say, “Oooh, thank you! I got it for free on my Buy Nothing group.”
When someone says, “That dress looks lovely on you!”, I will always express my gratitude for the compliment and also slip in something like, “I got it on clearance.”
I tell people all the time that I got my last two semesters of college paid for with scholarships.
And I’m not embarrassed to:
- mend things
- cook at home
- buy stuff on eBay
- purchase refurbished items
- tackle DIY things instead of hiring someone
- eat packed lunches
- drink from my free conference water bottle*
*I understand this may mean that in the future, I will be the only nurse on my floor who is not drinking from a Stanley cup.
I just think all these things are awesome ways that I manage to stretch my dollars and live the good life for less. And that’s not embarrassing!
I’ve often said that if someone was on the outside looking in at my life, they probably would not be able to tell that I’m pinching pennies.
But since I never keep my mouth shut about it, everyone around me has always known that I’m pinching pennies. 😉
What about when frugality isn’t a choice?
I think maybe this is a circumstance when people start to feel more ashamed.
If you could buy new clothes, but you choose to shop on eBay, that’s one thing.
If you can’t afford new clothes at all, that feels way worse.
And maybe this is where the loud budgeting movement is going to be particularly helpful; perhaps it will normalize those hard circumstances where frugality isn’t a choice.
When people share the reality of their lives, it helps others feel less alone.
More realness on social media? I support!
One of the much-talked-of downsides of social media is the faux “reality” it feeds us.
People tend to post the highlights of their lives, so as you scroll through your feed, you can easily get the impression that everyone else is traveling constantly, eating out all the time, and buying new clothes weekly.
Hikes in Hawaii are not actually my norm 😉
And if you mistake this for normalcy, you might be tempted to overspend to try to match what you see online.
So, some loud budgeting on social media seems like a welcome change; lots of us stay in at night, cook our food at home, and wear the same clothes over and over.
It’s more normal than people imagine.
This reminds me of a post format I saw on Instagram recently…people were sharing their normal houses, and it was refreshing.
We get so accustomed to seeing beautiful, airy, aesthetically-pleasing spaces, that we forget that it is quite common to have formica countertops, old tiles, and unfinished laundry rooms.
Seeing a more realistic representation of life helps to recenter our perception of what normal really is.
In short…
I’m super happy to hear that loud budgeting is a thing. I hope that, unlike most trends, it will stay.
(if, on the other hand, the ASMR restocking videos go away, I won’t mind at all. 😉 )
Irena
Wednesday 23rd of April 2025
Choosing to spend less to live well is a choice but, as you pointed out, for some it is true necessity.
Depending on where one lives and where you work and what you do, you often have little choice about purchasing things such as clothing. When I worked in corporate America in the executive suite, I had to dress the part. Back then there were no female work suits in whatever thrift shops that existed (unlike today where you can find practically anything on or offline for all types of clothing.) I lived in a big city so thankfully I didn't need a car but I saw my friends who lived in the suburbs spend tons on cars because they didn't want to look like they were poor or struggling compared to neighbors.
As it happens, I grew up in two very wealthy areas. We were definitely not wealthy and my single mom struggled financially but I never felt poor or felt like I was missing out. But this was a time before cell phones, designer clothes, etc. Having gone to school with the kids of wealthy families (who I did not know, at the time, how wealthy they were because it was all "old" money and no one ever discussed money or showed it off.) I was amazed to see that these families were very very low key and you would not guess from their homes or clothing how wealthy they were because they were raised NOT to show off and they did not believe in being ostentatious in how they lived or dressed. The only folks spending like crazy were the working folks who desperately didn't want to seem poor.
I feel very lucky because I have pretty much always been careful to spend only on what I really wanted and also to not feel compelled to engage in what one might refer to as "keeping up with the joneses" True, I could not indulge in expensive dinners or vacations but I learned to cook and upgrade what I ate at home. And I was lucky enough to travel for work and tack on a few days of vacation at no cost for airfare, for example, and often discounted lodgings (corporate discounts!).
What really irks me today is this constant emphasis on the newest, best, etc. and the need to buy new electronics every year. To me a computer needs to work a minimum of five years...cell phones as long as the software is supported. I hate when folks say: Oh, just toss it and get a new one. Why? I hate that so many small and large appliances today don't seem to last more than a few years. It's so wasteful, not only of our dollars but in the general environmental sense.
I pride myself on never paying more than I have to for anything. Why waste money? It's interesting the wealthiest folks I know feel the same way and will quibble over a few dollars to get the cheapest they can on something and they feel absolutely no shame. Meanwhile, working folks hate when they are forced to ask for discounts, the same ones that the rich, who could afford more, feel entitled to.
I like things, don't get me wrong. But I make huge distinctions between what I'd like and what I need and having limited income at this juncture of life, leaves me no option but to be thrifty where I can and to find bargains. I enjoy taking time and waiting if needed to get a good deal on almost anything.
I've invested in a pantry that has helped me save a lot. But we all still spend more than we would like on food, especially if you are feeding only one and your freezer fills up weekly with leftovers.
It just makes sense to spend carefully according to one's needs, no matter how much, if any, discretionary income you have. I, too, have had some great thrifted finds over the years that I love even more than the more expensive items in my home decor.
I wish that I didn't live in a city where the competition for items that are free and given away and at thrift stores wasn't so big. Plenty of stuff out there, but you gotta be the first to get it.
I don't care what others spend, unless they expect me to cover their shortfalls!
In today's economy, it's foolish to not think carefully about what you spend and how you can spend less.
It isn't always easy to live on a limited income but I think I actually end up enjoying what I have so much more because I really did work to get a bargain!
isa
Tuesday 21st of May 2024
I'm a screaming budgeter, aha! No shame in the game. My house and car are paid-off, I have zero debts and I have money aside for retirement and for the kids college. So, yeah, I'm very proud of my budgeting skills and not shy to say so. That said, I do understand people who prefer to keep it on the down low in fear of looking plain cheap.
Teri
Tuesday 21st of May 2024
While I would not characterize myself as loud, I've never shied away from sharing my frugal habits. I've practiced frugality my whole life, being raised in a large family we knew how and when to save. I do have two questions for the commenters: years ago while attending a shower, someone began folding up the gift wrap for future use. A woman next to me (and it has stayed with me all these years later) said "do people really do that?" - reuse wrapping paper and ribbons. Her derogatory comment made me feel sick and hurt for the other woman. What should I (or anyone who heard it) have said? And: my husband and I disagree on the amount spent on gifts, in particular this time of year when we get inundated with graduation announcements - many from people we do not even associate with. My husband wants to acknowledge and "be generous" to all. I do not agree. How do we compromise on this? I am much more frugal than he is and while we maintain a decent standard of living, it is nothing extravagant by any means. Help!
Central Calif. Artist Jana
Tuesday 21st of May 2024
@Teri, I would have told the woman at the shower, "Yep", with a smile, and let her stew on that. Maybe your husband could buy the gifts from his personal "Blow Money" rather than your household budget. I never know what to do with those graduation announcements or understand the purpose. If the graduate is in your life, you know and might do something; if the graduate isn't in your life, why are they sending the announcement? Yeah, yeah, there are always exceptions, but in my opinion it is as outdated tradition.
Sophie in Denmark
Tuesday 21st of May 2024
@Teri, I can't offer advice on the generosity thing other than to say maybe you can meet in the middle and agree on a set price. As for the wrapping paper, you could say 'I think it's a great idea to save the paper and help the environment'. You could say something more snide than that but it might not help the party mood!
Julia
Monday 20th of May 2024
I’m a loud shouter. Ain’t no shame in my game. And. Also love helping others find a bargain as well.
Ali in the midwest
Monday 20th of May 2024
Kristen,
Thank you for being authentic with us! I always try to remind myself that Facebook and instagram are other people’s highlight reels and do not always reflect accurately their life. I think the pictures of your house are visually pleasing. Your house looks warm and lived in (in a positive way!) and doesn’t look sterile, staged, or empty.