Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you’d like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!
I am truly fascinated by your homeschooling and am contemplating homeschooling my kids too, although I haven’t yet gotten the confidence. Can you let me know if homeschooled kids are assessed with the same exams that other non-homeschoolers are assessed? I am based in Malaysia though, and we do have checkpoint exams for certain levels in a schoolgoer’s life.
-Joyce
That varies state by state and probably even county by county. In my county, standardized testing is not required for homeschoolers, but it is offered.
When I was a kid, I took some Iowa Basic Skills Tests, the PSAT twice (the first time I was too young for my score to count for scholarships) and the SAT once.
I haven’t chosen to do grade school standardized tests for my kids (I’m extremely confident that their education has been more than sufficient and that they aren’t behind), but they will take the PSAT and SAT. The PSAT is good prep for the SAT, and the SAT is very helpful for college purposes.
1- When you started your blog, how did you get your name out there in order to have so many followers?
2- When you get a recipe or idea from someone else’s blog and you share it on yours, how do you go about posting it on your blog? Do you ask the person you’re borrowing it from if you can re-post it?
– Sarah Kate
#1-I wrote a little bit about growing my blog on my FAQ page, and I’ve written a few blogging advice posts (like 10 Blogging Tips) and those should answer your first question.
Growing a blog takes patience, so don’t become discouraged if your blog isn’t huge in a few months. And don’t compare yourself to others. I’ve been doing this for 3 years now, and there are many, many blogs that are more popular than mine. I could let that discourage me, but it’s much more fruitful for me to just keep on with the steady plodding, doing my thing. 🙂
#2-I should add this to my FAQ, because it comes up a lot. Here’s the skinny:
-Recipe ingredients are not copyrighted, but directions are, so write those in your own words.
-Photos usually are copyrighted, so ask permission before using those.
-It’s polite to give credit to a blogger for an idea, even if it’s not required. Spread the love!
I have a question regarding being a SAHM/SAHW (stay-at-home mom/wife). The majority of women who stay at home that I know are either religious and/or grew up in SAHM family culture, if you will. Do you have any encouragement or advice for women who would like to stay at home but aren’t religious and don’t have the support of their families or communities? My entire family disapproves of staying at home, as does the family of my fiance. Their values seem to lie in the work ethic of getting a job and bringing home a paycheck to buy lots of things/cars/houses and leaving the kids in daycare.
This is more specific- but do you also have any encouragement for women who have a significant graduate degree (i.e. more than a masters) but in the end want to stay home? I am very lucky in that due to a unique situation I have no debt associated with my degree, but after toiling away for years to complete it I just want to stay at home and have a family! Nearly everyone except for two close friends seem to think I’m crazy for not wanting to work.
Thanks for any words of encouragement you can provide!
Sincerely,
Mable
Oh dear…that’s hard, and I think it’s so sad. Sometimes people who vigorously espouse women’s right to choose what they want to do with their lives begin to treat staying home as an inferior choice and that breaks my heart.
Sadly, some people feel that a job is only respectable as long as you’re not doing it for your own family. You can be a chef, a professional organizer, a professional maid, a daycare worker, a teacher, or an accountant, and they’ll think well of you, but if you do those things in your own home for your own family, somehow, that’s not worth anything.
This makes no sense to me…my family is composed of the most important people in the world to me, and I think taking care of them is really, super-duper important and valuable, and I absolutely do not think it’s crazy. Why in the world is it silly to invest my brain, energy, gifts, and time into the people I value most?
I also don’t think it’s a waste of a good mind or a good education. I feel like what I do here at home is very challenging, stretching (I wear a wide variety of hats here at home), and not remotely boring. I also don’t think it’s somehow less hard than working at a job.
I think this decision has to come down to what you value and what you think is good for your children. I personally feel like I’d rather have my family live with less money/stuff (even though I think we live pretty darn well on less!) and me at home than more money/stuff and me away at work all day.
(just to be clear, I do understand that there are situations where a parent cannot stay at home, but I’m working off the assumption that that is not the case here).
The years with my children at home are relatively short (6 more years ’til Joshua graduates, actually!), and when my last kiddo Zoe graduates from high school, I know I won’t look back and wish I’d spent more time earning money.
If you feel that way and your husband feels that way, stand strong together and don’t let other people make you take a path you really don’t want to take. 🙂
___________________________
Today’s 365 post: Boring and Better
Joshua’s 365 post: Guillotine
TracyDK
Tuesday 16th of August 2011
My son is almost 3, I worked for almost the first year of his life, but I've been a SAHM since just after his first birthday. My Mom was a working mom for most of my life. However, my boyfriend and I agreed that for ourselves and our family, it is in the best interest of all involved that I don't work unless our son is in school. I'm still pursuing my education, because I do eventually want to work, but right now, my son is happier and I'm happier being home with him. So my advice is, you only have one life here on Earth and it's short. The last thing you need to do is regret a decision as big as this. So if your heart directs you to stay home and you can do so without too much hardship, then by all means stay home.
priskill
Tuesday 16th of August 2011
Just want to echo everyone to say that choice means CHOICE. Yes, it is pitiful that some have interpreted choice to mean choose to work only! You have to find the way that works for you and your family. Agree with the poster who suggested thinking about this issue in terms of "chapters" -- that really resonates for me! When my daughter was little, I was at home; later on, I worked part time on a schedule that dovetailed with hers so I was almost always there. Now that she is (gulp) almost 22 years old, I work full time in a completely different career. I have friends in both camps -- and there is no singular correct decision, just the way that works for you.
Also love the suggestion to just "smile and say sorry you feel that way." Useful in so many situations but especially here -- no one else's opinion really matters beyond you and your spouse's. Good luck!
Tracy
Tuesday 16th of August 2011
I work outside the home and it is necessary. My husband works but is in college full time. I am lucky in that I have a career not a job. I feel huge amounts of guilt for working outside the home. At the same time, I feel huge amounts of pride for my work. I'm completely torn, yet this is how we need to live right now. My four year old attends a private Catholic pre-school and is advanced for her age. It hurts me to my core when some one says, "I didn't have children for someone else to raise." Or, "I could NEVER leave my child at daycare. How do you do it?" I have internal battles every day, because I love my child AND my work. I plan on working less when my husband finishes school. However, I do not believe I could stay home full time. My child loves to go to school and she loves to stay home with mom or dad when she can. We eat supper together every single night. I cook semi-home made. We try. We try hard.
Elaine
Tuesday 16th of August 2011
Tracy, you should feel good about your decision. It's a wise choice because you considered all your circumstances, including the fact that your little daughter is doing so well in school. It sounds like you have a great family! You don't have to answer anyone who would say such hurtful things (indeed, that's the reason they said what they did), but if you feel you must, you could simply say that you're doing what you feel is best for your family right now.
I think you're doing great.
LeeAnn @ Living the Dream
Tuesday 16th of August 2011
I don't care what anyone says, raising your kids is the hardest job you will EVER have. Especially if you stay at home with them. I also have a Masters degree (MBA) and had a great job in corporate America but chose to stay home with my girls when I was expecting #3. You will never get this time back in your kids lives, whereas you will always have time to go back to work.
It's a unique decision for every family, they have to evaluate whether they can make it work financially and emotionally. Some moms just aren't made to be SAHMs. And some moms just can't leave their kids in daycare. And some dads are better as the primary care provider for their family.
IMO, the #1 priority is to make sure the situation works best for everyone in your family -- the mom, the dad, and the kids (or whatever variation is applicable to your family). If those outside of your family don't agree, that's their problem. *You* are the one who has to live with your decisions for the rest of your life.
~LeeAnn
Julia
Tuesday 16th of August 2011
Beautifully put regarding SAHM! I think I'm going to share some quotes with my friends!