Q&A | positivity, buy nothing vs. eBay, and piano teaching for newbies

Quick question: How do you manage to keep such a positive outlook during challenging times?

-Jennifer

Hmmm. I’ve probably answered something similar to this before, but three things briefly:

1. I roll with the sadness/grief/anger when I feel it

I do better if I don’t fight the feelings that we label as negative; they move through faster if I just sit with them instead of fighting them.

I try really, really hard to remember that these awful feelings never have lasted forever, even though in the middle of a wave, it’s hard to remember that. 

You know how when you stand in the ocean and you try to push against a wave, you often get knocked over? But if you just float with the wave, or you dive into it, it’s not nearly as bad.

The damage is worse when you resist! 

2. I hunt for what is good

All of us have good things in our lives, but if we do not make an effort to find them and focus on them, we might completely miss them.

Our brains are programmed to find danger and problems automatically, but they don’t tend to find blessings automatically.

3. I focus on what I can control

When times are hard, there’s often a lot that’s out of our control. Focusing on that makes me feel helpless and hopeless, so I feel better when I look at what IS in my control. 

I can work on my own attitudes.

I can control my own choices.

I can face my problems and take steps to work through the challenges in front of me. 

I can work on my own healing.

I can build something new out of wreckage. 

To reiterate #1: as counterintuitive as it is, an important part of staying positive and healthy for me is to allow for the variety of real feelings that happen in life. I can be sad/angry sometimes, AND also be happy and positive sometimes. 

Hello Kristen!

I hope you are well! I had a quick question for you about deciding when to sell something on ebay vs offer it to your Buy Nothing group. Do you have a rule of thumb you use to decide? I’ve only ever sold things locally, never through ebay, but I often find myself debating which to try first.

Ann

Ooh, that’s a good question!

Something is a good candidate for eBay if:

• it’s small/lightweight (shipping will be easy then)
• it’s a book (shipping is easy and cheap)
• it’s a niche item (no one on Buy Nothing would want it; it needs a bigger audience to find the right person)
• it’s got a history of selling for a price that makes it worth my time

If it’s something with value and mass appeal but it’s heavy and/or large, then I list it on Facebook Marketplace (something like a piece of luggage, for instance).

And if it’s something that doesn’t fit any of those criteria, then I list it on my Buy Nothing group. 

Ohh, also: if I want to get rid of something, like, RIGHT NOW, then Buy Nothing is the best option.

Sometimes it takes a while for something to sell on Facebook Marketplace or eBay, but on my Buy Nothing group, things are usually picked up in a day or two. 

Waiting for something to sell is not a big deal if the item is small; I just put a book on my bookshelf, or I put a small item, such as a Christmas ornament, in a little bin in my office.

But when it comes to large things, I usually want them out of my house faster. 🙂 

My very last option is to drop things off at Goodwill; I do this when I have a collection of little things that are so random, it would be too annoying to list them on my Buy Nothing group. I also will put things in Goodwill bag if no one has responded to a Buy Nothing listing. 

Here’s a post explaining what a Buy Nothing Group is.

And here’s how I sell books on eBay (the process is similar for other things too!)

Hi Kristen,
I play the piano myself and would like to teach my five year old twins but I don’t really know how to start. So far I’ve taught them the 2 black and 3 black keys are repeated across the board and they can find the C note. If you have tips for how you start teaching little ones or can point me to other resources, that would be amazing, thank you!

-Ally

In all the years that I taught piano lessons, I used the Alfred materials.

For younger students, I like their prep course, which is the simplest, slowest-moving path. I find that to be less overwhelming for kids who are six and under. Here’s the first book of the prep course. 

You can also get a set of the Prep Course books to add things like a theory book. 

Also, if you’d like some teaching help, there’s a teacher’s guide.

You might not need that for all the levels, but it could be helpful as you find your footing at first! 

Readers, do you have any input on these questions?