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stream of (foggy) consciousness

I’ve been sitting here at my keyboard for a while this morning, trying to decide what I want to write about.

Nothing cohesive has come to mind so I’m just gonna type. Fair warning: this isn’t gonna be faintly organized.

Black ergonomic keyboard.

Normally I write my posts the day before and schedule them to be published, but yesterday was an extremely long day and I crashed right into bed without typing a word here.

I feel like my brain is in something of a fog. And I know, I know, I know that this is temporary.

I will not always feel like this.

Some of the factors will resolve in the relatively near future….and then some of the fog will clear.

I was perusing some other blogs in my niche recently, looking at the projects the bloggers are doing, and I thought, “Oh, I used to be like that too, not so long ago.”

And I know that I will be like that again.

It was a strange sensation, almost like peeking in on a club I used to be part of.

But for right now, in this little chapter of my life, there is only space for what is absolutely, positively necessary.

Which is why my poor little scuffed table is sitting there, not yet finished.

scuffed table progress.

It’s why my Five Frugal Things posts are just tiny little efforts lately.

There are so many kinds of exhaustion that can cause this, I think. There’s being flat-out booked and busy. There’s physical exhaustion. There’s mental and emotional exhaustion.

And maybe when all of those are at play, all at the same time, it’s just hard to do more than the bare minimum.

The current number of things on my plate would not be sustainable forever. But what keeps me going is hope; I hold onto the “This is temporary” thought like a lifeline.

I will not always feel this tired.

I will finish my scuffed table.

My brain will be full of fun and creative ideas again.

The fog is going to lift.

"be kind" sticker.

And I am hopeful that by even the start of next semester, life will be less foggy.

I don’t know how to tie this up neatly. Hmm. Maybe I don’t need to.

In the book, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, I remember the author saying that she was just going to put out her writing and trust that it would land where it needed to land.

But maybe it’s more than that; maybe sometimes the writing is as much for the writer as it is for the reader.

And now I’m gonna go for a walk, for some temporary fog-clearing. 😉

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Martha C

Sunday 3rd of December 2023

Emotional exhaustion is the hardest kind. It will get better, or at least get different! I'm in a good place right now, AND I remember times when I was where you are. Hang in there! You are an excellent writer and your message is always helpful to me, regardless of how "well planned" it is. I don't comment much but I've been a faithful reader for over a decade.

Kristen

Monday 4th of December 2023

That is so true; I will take physical exhaustion any day over the emotional type!

Grandma Bev

Friday 1st of December 2023

I didn't think it would be like this. It will get better.

Amber

Thursday 30th of November 2023

I am in grad school right now and this resonates deeply! We got this!

bws

Thursday 30th of November 2023

Writing is as much for me as it is for thee . . . writing [makes] an exact man, wrote Francis Bacon.

And you are also right-- many things that deplete our reserves do pass-- or we learn how to juggle them. I write to figure out what I think about aging, the times, and balance in a world I never saw coming -- and hopefully to be a goad without sounding like a toad.

Hang in there-- a walk really does a body good.

Beth

Thursday 30th of November 2023

you're kind of awesome. ❤️

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